@robdelaney: Trump University is getting a bad rap. My nephew went there and he can poop in a toilet AND say the N-word.
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@jackmackenroth: If your phone gets wet, put it in a bag of rice because maybe an Asian will come by and fix it.
@jferg1616: Boss: "We are all going to have a bunch of Red Bull, bust out the chest of Adderall, be laser focused for about 4 hours, then die."
@sofarrsogud: [Takes out scrunchie and shakes out my slicked back ponytail] Take the mugshot again.