@robdelaney: Trump University is getting a bad rap. My nephew went there and he can poop in a toilet AND say the N-word.
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@KKAlThani: I thought I was listening to a Maroon 5 song on the radio when I realized that the radio is off and I need to have my brakes changed.
@ChribHibble: The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan.
@NuclearBavarian: A car with a car rack looked like a police car, so I slowed down, only to realize I had been tricked into obeying the law FOR NO REASON.