@rickygervais: Trump worked his way up from nothing. He's going to give every American the same 1 million dollars he started with. That's all you need.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mompsychologist: I've never been on Jeopardy, but I have put a 4yo to bed, so I know what it's like to be asked about things you never even heard of.
@omgthatspunny: I told my boss I needed a pay rise, I said that 3 other companies were after me. He said: “which ones?" I replied: “the electricity, gas and the water".