@chopper4jk: Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
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@david8hughes: *grandma sobbing at my graduation* "Your parents would have been so proud seeing you up there." *wipes tear* "But they didn't want to come."
@WilliamAder: Bought a cat collar with a bell on it, and now I can't sneak up on the cat to put it on her.
@beardofprey: last night my dog shit on the floor then at some point the Roomba came and smeared it all over the house :D
@CodyJP9412: REPUBLICANS: I can't believe Trump won. DEMOCRATS: I can't believe Hillary lost. ME: I can't believe it's not butter!