@chopper4jk: Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
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@Ohaiqtpie: On a poster in my math class "4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions" The sad thing is my first thought was "Oh good, I'm not alone!"
@causticbob: News: IKEA pledges 1 billion euros to help slow climate change. But knowing IKEA, it will take forever to put the money together.
@vinfury: Asterisks are awesome. *tosses a midget dressed in sexy maid outfit off the Eiffel Tower with parachute made of pancakes*