@MrSandeepP: Truthful Tuesday: If a rapper raps about how much money he has then I download his music for free.
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@aprilmaywilson: Apparently it's 'inappropriate' to show up at your therapist's home to swim in her new pool even though your 'boundary issues' paid for it.
@iSmashFizzle: Me: It's not illegal to be rude to cops. Them: Well, if you poke a bear, what do you expect? Me: That's why we don't make bears cops.
@TheMichaelRock: Wife: I better see a diamond this Mother's Day Me: say no more *buys baseball tickets*