@Alex_N_Chains: Truthful Tuesday: The last time I had sex, I was so excited afterward I fired my musket skyward, alerting the Confederates to our presence.
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@ItsAndyRyan: 'Space Jam' never gets old - that's because in the sterile environment of space fruit preserves don't spoil. Hi, I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson.
@markleggett: At the ripe old age of 900, in a universe inhabited by thousands of alien races, I bet Yoda had some pretty racist shit to say.
@o__0Dev: I suffer from premature procrastination. It’s when you procrastinate before even receiving a task...
@gojarbe: "and this blood shall be called A+" all the other blood types: "k wow we're like right here"