@Alex_N_Chains: Truthful Tuesday: The last time I had sex, I was so excited afterward I fired my musket skyward, alerting the Confederates to our presence.
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@caseytduncan: If a turkey got murdered, the chalk outline would look like a giant preschooler's hand.
@rockymomax: I have good news & bad news "bad news 1st" I died youre talking to a ghost "OMG & the good news?" I broke the world record for eating bees
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I kinda want one of those priest collar thingys. If it gets me through airport security fast AND keeps kids away from me. I'm in.