@Jenny4ashley: Try explaining to your kid why you're taking a bath with a cucumber then come talk to me about your problems.
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@AimeeHelene1: It's just a flesh wound... *looks down at hibachi knives I just pretended I was Master Chef with* *looks at bystander I just chop chopped*
@Manali_Shetye5: Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages Need I say more?
@GianDoh: All toilet seats can be heated toilet seats if you push people off them and sit real fast.