@Jake_Vig: Try not to put yourself in a position where you have to say "I'm not actually a Nazi"
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@DistractedMomma: Can one of you please tell my ex husband that I died? I feel like it would be more believable coming from someone other than me.
@edgarrants: My wife said if she heard me chewing one more time, she was going to murder me. So I stole the batteries from her hearing aids.
@TheBoydP: "I have to poop" ~What teenagers say when they don't want to do something you've asked them to do