@Bunnydurden: Try saying "good luck" without sounding sarcastic. Good luck.
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@sageboggs: Hey girl, did it hurt? Did it hurt when you had to use your fingernails to rip through the dense layers of sediment on your way up from Hell
@FloodyHippie: A zombie jumped out at me, in a haunted house, but he didn't scare me. He did, however, catch my elbow in his face.
@Snarfernini: You're nice, cute & single? Can you introduce me to your friend who looks like he'd never return my texts? Yeah the one with the girlfriend.