@tastefactory: Try to imagine pugs living in the wild, just roaming in the forest in packs.
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@fsuflores: An ice bucket challenge ... But for when teenagers don't want to get out of bed and get ready for school.
@smithsara79: OB-GYN: Ever consider having kids? Me: *remembers the time I heard some man tell a little girl to smile & she told him to die* Just once.
@CatherineLMK: A study was just published that shark attacks happen most often in water. Now I have to worry about the ones that occur elsewhere.
@BonaFideIntent: Me: LARGE FRY! McDonald's Manager: Ma'am, you can't use the drive-thru riding a stick pony. Please leave NOW Me: I WILL CUT YOU! *sirens*