@DearAnyone: "Try to score a goal. Don't use your hands. See you afterwards." - Soccer coaches
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@PJTLynch: Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I've learned that I don't need to use so many paper towels, and they're expensive.
@KentWGraham: Misery loves company. And from what I can tell, the company she loves is the one where I work.
@dubiousrhetoric: WORKOUT GUY: Climbing stairs after leg day is the worst bro! ME: My face hurts because I napped too hard on my face.