@TheCatWhisprer: Trying this hot water diet where you drink a cup of hot water in the morning but so far all I've done is burn my tongue and eat 7 donuts.
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@BlindChow: "You lie like a doge!" I tell my wife. "So deceit!" I add. "Very fraud!" I mention. "Much fiction!" I point out. "Wow," she says.
@Book_Krazy: *[At the dinner table]* "No grandma, those aren't knitting needles. We're having Chinese food"