@gigglegirlnoel: Trying to figure out if you practice the violin for many hours every day, or if you just have a really bad hickey.
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@ValeeGrrl: Husband: *hacks up lung* I think I'm comin down with something Me: lol ok whatever Kid: *tiny cough* Me: OMG MY POOR BABY COME TO MOMMA
@d_duhwit: Possum man Possum man Does the 1 thing a possum can Trouble looms Over head He gets scared And plays dead Look out it's just the possum man
@LegoGodzilla: [first date] GIRL: When you said "fitness freak" in your profile, this isn't what I expected HALF-MAN/HALF-TREADMILL: It was an old photo