@IamEnidColeslaw: trying to get through to Mozart on the Ouija board I really want him to listen to the Thong Song
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@Bratch_Patch: "Friends are a dime a dozen." *pulls out a sack full of dimes* "Sweet, I'll take 32 dozen friends please."
@therealeatwood: SANTA: I don’t need a surveillance guy. I see all! ELF ON SHELF: Seen these? [shows pics of Mommy kissing Santa Claus] S: When can u start
@jimmytorosian: Person: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Me: I understand. *I spend the rest of my life biting the hands of everyone who hasn't fed me*
@SortaBad: [babysitting] Ok well sorry I threw all your kid's toys into the ocean but maybe next time be more clear if you suggest we have a tea party