@nbadag: [trying to make small talk with the lady cutting my hair]
so what do you do for a living
@TheWeirdWorld: I have never seen a construction crane being put in place. They just show up.
@DaveSirus: The Illuminati is the belief that the most powerful ppl on Earth are in a conspiracy to leave giant clues that they're part of a conspiracy.
@CharmandBrains: *Whispers, spitters are for quitters.
~Wine tasting, you pervs!
@moooooog35: The average parent spends roughly 2.7 years of their life picking up crayons from under restaurant tables.
@Ivsy01: Room service: Would you like your glass of wine before din...Me:(interrupting) YES.