@nbadag: [trying to make small talk with the lady cutting my hair]
so what do you do for a living
@ninjadinosaur1: No, I don't want to hang out at your house. Your pot to snacks ratio is all off.
@mrtruthandsoul: I've decided to take some time off Twitter so I can focus on work and, ok, I'm back
@Donna_McCoy: Sorry I declined your Facebook friend request, but I can't have those sideburns popping up in my news feed unannounced.
@AnOrangeSNES: [Dr's office]
"I have Carrie like reflexes"
Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?
*Dr hits my knee with reflex hammer and I set him on fire*
@OneyeBogey: Plan "T" is going to work out, I have a good feeling about this one.