@Sassafrantz: Trying to open a Capri Sun is the longest relationship I've had in 2015.
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@Procaffinator: Its probably time to clean the microwave when you heat coffee and it comes out smelling like a burrito.
@TheRolo: Hey guurl. "Hey there." Feeling lonely tonight? "I have a boyfriend." Why are you talking to me then? "You haven't taken my order yet."
@brennadine: Is there something about me that suggests I want to hear about your smoothie cleanse, because I can change.