@Sassafrantz: Trying to open a Capri Sun is the longest relationship I've had in 2015.
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@KalvinMacleod: INTERVIEWER: Would you like a donut? ME: *takes three* I: Um, ok, what's your greatest strength? ME: [grabbing two more donuts] Self-control
@SortaBad: Executive: What should we name the mutant with neato magnetic powers? Me: [clearly joking] How about Mag-Neato? Exec: damn that's so good
@TinaMav: Next time a stranger talks to me when I'm alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper "You can see me?"..