@FeralCrone: *tucks an errant lock of my gynecologist's hair behind her ear with my toes*
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@steveolivas: Asked my wife if I was going to get a "tip" for driving her around today. She laughed and laughed. Apparently so hard, she got a headache.
@AristotlesNZ: If a cop is at the door when I answer, I yell into the house "Anyone order a stripper?" then say "Sorry, wrong house" & slam the door shut.
@RunJeffreyRun: I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him.
@retreminy: I illegally download music, but only Metallica. They seem to be pretty cool about it.