@FeralCrone: *tucks an errant lock of my gynecologist's hair behind her ear with my toes*
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@_Tempo11: [voice recognition in car] Car: "please say a command" Me: "call Tim" Car: "calling Sarah Marcogliese"
@Kneevyl: If it weren't for dating sites, I'd still have some self-esteem. Thank God, it's all gone now.
@Prof_Hinkley: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Off duty cop: No *cop gets so close their mustaches interlock like velcro* You're driving great, pal
@JasonLight73: At this point you can get more Gas for your $5 bill at a Taco Bell than you can at a Shell Station