@FeralCrone: *tucks an errant lock of my gynecologist's hair behind her ear with my toes*
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@onion_an: Me: I had to take your hamster back to the shop Son: Why [nervous because I accidentally ran him over with a lawnmower] Me: He's a racist
@Smug_Lemur: Maybe my grandma stayed married for 50 yrs because she never said stuff like "I just wish he would support me, you know, creatively."
@LlamaInaTux: Robber: give me your money Me: this is embarrassing but I am broke Robber: not a problem. I can loan you a 20 Me: thanks dude Robber: no problem. Now give me your money