@LlamaInaTux: Turbulence is when the airplane hits someone's family photos backed up in the cloud.
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@sissyknits: I told my husband I started seeing a therapist and he was so happy and hugged me...I'm not sure he understood that I meant dating.
@moxieblogger: I pet my dog and she started to purr. Thought I should lay off the drugs until I realized the cat was sitting behind her.
@bobbiejo448: This Xanax script says I should take one daily as needed but I'm pretty sure they meant per child so, including the dogs, that makes five.
@Contwixt: Atheists don't seem to recognize church is worth it for the bake sales alone. God, or no god, those are good Brownies.