@sixfootcandy: Turn up? At my age, I'm just happy when I can turn over.
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@RdrJay47: I'm not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
@DaddyBeerGuy: Boss-You're Always the first one here! Me-Hey,*early bird gets the worm, right? *gets to poop or drink coffee without 3yr old interrupting
@chopper4jk: My son wants to change his given Indian name, so I told Broken Condom he could change it if he really wants to. Kid's these days...