@sixfootcandy: Turn up? At my age, I'm just happy when I can turn over.
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@BurgerKing: IF UR DATING SOMEONE AND THEY GIVE YOU GOOSEBUMPS BUT THEY DON’T GIVE YOU FRIES WHY ARE YOU TOGETHER?
@DevilryFun: I do my best speed walking when I'm trying to beat another customer to the checkout at the liquor store.
@LurkAtHomeMom: I feel bad for women who say finding true love is the best experience in life. They've obviously never found their bra size on clearance.