@Parentpains: Turn yoga class into hot yoga by chasing everyone around with a blow torch.
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@Death_Buddy: *gets down to snails level* IF YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TO THEN I CAN HELP YOU GET THERE FASTER.
@lovexios: I hate when people text 'call me'. I'm going to start calling people, say 'text me' and then hang up.
@TheBoydP: My wife said she got a life insurance policy on me in case something tragic happened and I was like wow she thinks my death would be tragic!