@weinerdog4life: Turn your proctologist into a magician by stuffing 45 feet of scarves in your butt.
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@toriTBC: When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?" then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.
@HollyHeals: Dressing up as the grim reaper while at work in the ER is not amusing says HR. So uptight.
@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1950. The FBI put out its first 10 Most Wanted list and my dad lost a bet because only 2 of the guys were his brothers.
@JoParkerBear: The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you, and you try to understand them in order to best tailor a revenge plot that suits them.