@Elizasoul80: Turn your trip to the grocery store into a ninja challenge by shopping strictly out of other people's carts when they're not looking.
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@WilliamAder: If it wasn't for the 140 character limit, I'd be on Chapter 27 of my first tweet right now.
@usermcuserface: At the library: Librarian: you have 45 cents in late fees. Me: (adjusts bow tie then slides 50 cents across the table) Keep the change
@Paige__xxx: Me: tries to sleep Brain: M: B: M: B: M: B: if one synchronized swimmer drowns do the others have to drown too?