@orny_xo: Turns out Chlamydia is much easier to get than it is to spell.
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@djdarrellripley: (Sigh) I must be getting older. I just read a whole book about a giant sperm whale called Moby Dick and I didn't giggle once...
@WillGeorgese: “Relax. It’s not a competition.” “Right. That’s what I say.” “But I said it first.”
@beefman138: I will never refer to 'drunk me' or 'sober me' because that implies the second one exists.
@ChipKellysBalls: Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge.