@thatUPSdude: Turns out cops get really pissed if you slip out of your handcuffs even if you say "Ta-Da" when you do.
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@tastefactory: [killer enters home in middle of night] ME: Who goes there? KILLER: Haha ME: What KILLER: Who still says "Who goes there" ME: Ok laugh it up
@flashember: walk up to the mightiest oak in the forest and punch it. now laugh as you climb into its branches to let the other trees know you're insane
@Marcmywords2: Text: OMG! I can't believe you tweet such vile, offensive, filthy, sick things. You should be removed from society. GET HELP! Love Mom XO