@thatUPSdude: Turns out cops get really pissed if you slip out of your handcuffs even if you say "Ta-Da" when you do.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@davidkenny100: "The first guy to suggest peeing on a jellyfish sting was called a pervert but it worked" I said to my wife as she complained of a toothache
@Matt_The_Fist: I like to walk through the mall and hand out bags of Cheetos to all the kids I see wearing white clothes
@Brampersandon_: ME (watching a sea of a million llamas stampede over the horizon): dear God, it's the alpacalypse