@thatUPSdude: Turns out cops get really pissed if you slip out of your handcuffs even if you say "Ta-Da" when you do.
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@NYC_Blonde: Let's all take a moment to honor National Punctuation Day because life would be: very, confusing! Without it?
@dulcetry: I know we haven't talked in awhile but I've been thinking about us a lot and I was wondering if u remembered the name of that burrito place
@yonewt: Then: I love to hear the sound of your voice Now: ASK ME ONE MORE TIME IF I TURNED OFF THE GRILL I SWEAR TO GOD
@QwertyJones3: Friend: I got a job as a carpenter, but it sucks. Me: No prob, just learn a few magic tricks and people will worship you as their savior.