@AristotlesNZ: Turns out exposing yourself to different cultures just gets you arrested in multiple countries.
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@Bownuggets: Turtles sniff tails to find mates but when I do it, it's "disturbing" & I "need to leave yoga," or "at least wait til I'm off the treadmill"
@DanielRCarrillo: Having pets adds 5 years to your life. Have thousands of pets, never stop owning pets. Become immortal. Laugh as your foes grow old and die
@DumbAlias: Spend hours getting screaming baby to sleep. Check on sleeping baby. Can't hear breathing...prod sleeping baby Repeat