@AristotlesNZ: Turns out exposing yourself to different cultures just gets you arrested in multiple countries.
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@TheToddWilliams: [gun shop] ME: Does this gun come with a nuclear warhead? CLERK: Haha no that's illegal ME: Ok CLERK: You can buy the warhead separately
@Abusitron: Minister: if anyone objects to this unio- Me: *raptor call* Groom: *raptor call* Guests: *chorus of raptor calls* *Bride gets devoured*
@brennadine: CUT, CUT!! [Music stops] LOOK IT'S A WESTERN MUSICAL [Rubs temples] YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE COWBOY HAT ON- [Cat runs off] Meow!