@thatUPSdude: Turns out if you fake your death every Monday work catches on.
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@tweetsvisual: I like a good strong woman. But I prefer them not to be named Olga and bench press me in front of my friends.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Everyone romanticizes the past until they get horribly sick and wake up covered in leeches.
@Papa_Mex: I bet Vegans that become zombies must really struggle with the whole brain-eating lifestyle...
@robdelaney: My wife went on a lot of roller coasters when she was pregnant with our daughter Katelyn, and you can tell :(