@nocturnology: Turns out indoor stone throwing is a mistake no matter what your house is made of.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ruinedpicnic: me: maybe those nazi salutes... we're just them reaching for the stars... McDonald's manager: this is the fastest I've ever fired someone
@thetits: [in the park] ME: aww look a baby WIFE: is it on me?! ME: um no it's in a stroll- WIFE: *swatting herself* I FEEL LIKE IT'S ON ME
@NymphoFor: Little do you know that in my head I've already married you, divorced you, and hidden your body.
@TheGayFlash: I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin or a lawnmower.