@amethystxmatt: turns out skrillexs music has healing properties: during a concert, a paralysed boy stood up and left
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@RegularFred: Man dies after body rejects sleeveless Metallica shirt because he didn't have a barbed wire tattoo.
@romiza_: *Witnesses an awkward moment* starts a slow clap* sees that nobody is joining me* pretends like I'm trying to kill mosquitoes*
@5exyunchained: It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.