@DistractedMomma: Turns out, telemarketers don't like it when 5 year olds answer the phone and tell them princess Ariel stories.
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@JawnQSack: Marilyn Monroe died & was reincarnated into thousands of white girls who can't be handled at their worst, and aren't deserved at their best.
@gianni_bcn: What I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have adquired over a.... *Accidentally drops cell phone on the toilet*
@Shock_Monster: Him: Boo! Me: Did you just call me your Boo? Him: I was scaring you! Me: Mission accomplished. *backs away*
@woodmuffin: "For my next illusion" the magician announces: "Free will!" Everyone starts clapping but they don't know why