@chuckyhead3: Turns out the button on the elevator with the fireman's hat on it is not the button for a free fireman's hat.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@reczit: Help is a magic word. Say it to people & watch them disappearing from the horizon of your life.
@SassyTxGirl83: Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard..... Pillow fight
@WittySassBasket: If I had all the money, I would pay people to sneak up behind you and blast a bullhorn right before you hit send on a political tweet.
@Tmoney68: 11:30 - Sit on toilet, open Twitter. 11:54 - Try to stand, fall to floor with numb legs. 11:55 - Get comfortable on floor, open Twitter.