@JB4Realz: Turns out, the guy who invented CPR just liked kissing strangers then punching them in the chest.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dongfuture: Telepathy “Huh?” Telepathy “Ok…let’s move on. What—” Telepathy “Please stop interrupting! What are your strengths?” *rolls eyes* Telepathy
@AmericanGent69: Me: *tries to sneak a pic of someone but forgets flash is on Did you just take my picture? Me: *starts to make thunder noises
@Zombie_Kitv2: I almost died last night. I woke up at 3am and MY FOOT WAS HANGING OFF THE EDGE OF THE BED. NOT EVEN UNDER THE COVERS.
@IamEnidColeslaw: drank a Mike's Hard Lemonade & crashed my dirt bike into a mailbox RT @McDonalds Good morning! How was your weekend?