@bazlyons: Turns out when you're asked who your favourite child is you're expected to pick from your own.
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@Book_Krazy: Me: Im still mad at you for last night Hub: Well Today is the 1st. Which means that happened last month. Which means youre being ridiculous
@vineyille: "First off I want to wish my opponent the best of luck and oh god. OH GOD NO" - presidential candidate accidentally using their 3rd wish
@_ElvishPresley_: *reads list of assassin targets* "Eggs, milk...what the-" [CUT TO] *wife at store looking desperately for North Korean nuclear physicist*