@bazlyons: Turns out when you're asked who your favourite child is you're expected to pick from your own.
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@BuckyIsotope: Barry? Yes Joe Can I borrow Air Force 1? I promised this girl we'd eat at the Pizza Hut in France No Joe *Biden slams fist* THIS IS BULLSHIT
@samfromks: I told my 3 year old that Skittles are Care Bear meat and now I have the bag to myself.
@LilBlueBlood: Mom: Want to come over for dinner? Me: No thanks, already ate Mom: What did you have? Me: Peanut butter Mom: With? Me: Spoon