@WookieOnUnicorn: turns out Xenophobia is not 'A fear of Warrior Princesses'
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@Gre_Gone: Me: *ziplines into wedding* "Sup nerds?" *pants get caught and tear off leaving me dangling naked upside down* Priest: "Ooh a piñata!"
@iwearaonesie: wife: How was work? [flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast"] me:Good
@DumbConfessions: Her:"Let's make a baby." Him: "Okay! Hold on." *goes to bathroom* [5 minutes later.] Her: "Where'd you go?" Him: "You meant with you??"