@WookieOnUnicorn: turns out Xenophobia is not 'A fear of Warrior Princesses'
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@SteveKoehler22: Son : “Dad, who did I get my intelligence from ?" Dad : “It must be from your mother. I still have mine”
@mjkspeaks: [hours after first date] HER: *on phone* yeah i went on the date but he was creepy. *i’m just sitting outside her bedroom window in shock*
@blood_orphan: I have a tenuous grasp on the English language. Shakespeare? That dude's grasp on the English language was, like... twelveuous.
@ScubavelliDeux: *whispers seductively in your ear* "...look at that last slice of pizza and you're dead to me..."