@MartaEffing: Turns out you have to *tell* a guy you're going out, otherwise you just end up standing on his doorstep wondering why he's in his sweats.
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@drewjanda: It was a classic Cinderella story: I walked into strangers' houses and made women try on a shoe I found
@RickAaron: "I ran a half marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon".
@jergarl: Not sure why this lady looked so shocked when I whispered, "LIAR!" into her ear after I watched her type "lol". She did NOT lol.
@The_KJM: I can undo a bra with two fingers and no eyes but can't tie a tie with both hands and a 6 minute video tutorial.