@Bownuggets: Turtles sniff tails to find mates but when I do it, it's "disturbing" & I "need to leave yoga," or "at least wait til I'm off the treadmill"
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@kumailn: Why didn't we learn about essential oils in school? I mean, that shit is ESSENTIAL. Should've been the first lesson!
@pattioshankable: I've discovered the best way to punish 17, is to put on the same outfit as her, then follow her around all day yelling out "TWINSIES!"
@KalvinMacleod: HER: it’s pretty sad when people are incapable of moving beyond small talk ME: do you like things?