@SomthinBoutSara: Twas the night before Christmas, all through the house not a creature was stirring not even my vodka martini because it's shaken not stirred
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@Sassafrantz: My boss at Walmart said I have to stop Febreezing the homeless and that they aren't homeless, they're customers.
@SodomyClown: ME: "I don't like this movie." HIM: "We are at a funeral." ME: "Who directed this?" HIM: "A bear attack." ME: "Never heard of him."
@ibid78: Do I have friends? Are we allowed to count the enemies of my enemies? Then yes, I have a bunch of friends.
@neiltyson: Don't know whether to be disturbed or enchanted that the word sesquipedalian is onomatopoetic