@rikpayne: Tweeting and grocery shopping don't mix. I've been down every aisle and just realized all I have in my cart is a cabbage and someone's baby.
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@Carbosly: Protip: if your date is going to throw a drink at your face, at least open your mouth, because hey, free drink.
@kelly_pawlluck: Cute guy: I like that you just say what's on your mind Me: Why do you think Ginger was the only band member named after an actual spice?
@juliussharpe: The NSA has been tracking phone records for Verizon customers. They skipped AT&T because those people can't complete calls.
@zachreinert03: Any dance can be a no pants dance. In fact, might be a fun way to bring back the Macarena