@MumsieEsq: Tweets are like your children: you love them all at first, you never know how they’ll age, and most of them you regret creating.
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@ArfMeasures: [court] ME: Between 10 & 11 p.m. I was having sex JUDGE: Who are you? You're not even in this trial M: I know, I just want it on record
@secondofhername: Lawyer: As My Lord knows,... Judge: Don't presume I know it, counsel. Lawyer: Beg pardon. *clears throat* As My Lord ought to know...