@MumsieEsq: Tweets are like your children: you love them all at first, you never know how they’ll age, and most of them you regret creating.
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@tastefactory: WHAT DO WE WANT? License and registration, please. WHEN DO WE WANT IT? Sir, please stop shouting and step out of the vehicle.
@philyuck: "Vodka martini. Shaken not stirred." "So just the normal way you make a martini then?" "That's right."
@jtswhipped: I saw a woman with a lower back tattoo that said "Classy" and my brain leaked out of my ear.