Funny Tweeter

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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Twilight and Hostess are over. It's a sad day for fat girls.

Twilight and Hostess are over. It’s a sad day for fat girls.
83 comments

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@ozzie31220: I've been waxing my car for twenty years and I still don't know karate.

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@LostFelicia: Hey y'all, I finally got a smart phone. I'm a big girl now! Anyone got a 5 year old I can borrow to teach me how to use the damn thing?

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@3BlindMike: The cat puked all over the bath mat so I just tossed it into the trash can. Then I put the bath mat in the washer.

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@jonnysun: wat abot when ther was only 1 set of footprints "thats when i carried u" wat abot when the fotprints went in the ocean "i tried to drown u"

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