Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with a car, Throw you off a street so high, Hope you break your neck and die.

@daemonic3: "Update your Adobe or you'll be sleeping with the fishes" - Flash mob

1

@LostFelicia: To the raisin I just beat to death with my shoe.. Eww! I thought you were a spider. Eww! Someone's bringing raisins in my house.

134

@KyleMcDowell86: [WOLF CUB] Dad, why do we howl at the moon? [WOLF DAD] Well son, the moon is made of cheese and that's rad as hell

221

@d2BMcG: I've not smoked weed in two year, during that time I've completed sooooo much ...................... drunk

40

@TheHyyyype: [my future self comes back in time] HIM: here's every sports score for the next 20 years ME: great, thanks for ruining the games for me

1

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