Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

@demented_Ash: Twinkle twinkle little star,
I want to hit you with a car,
Throw you off a street so high,
Hope you break your neck and die.

Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with a car, Throw you off a street so high, Hope you break your neck and die.
1 comments

COMMENTS

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

@Canadian_Cutie_: I had to use a rotary phone to try to get concert tickets so don't you tell me Ticket Master online is taking too long

1

@WhaJoTalkinBout: cop: do you know why I pulled you over? me: is it the body in my trunk? cop: haha me: haha body in my trunk: haha

1

@LaziestCanine: [on intercom] Pilot: does anyone know how to land an airplane? asking for a friend, i swear

1

@RatBatallion: Just realized all my tweets are about my genitals . Time to change the subject. Do you believe in aliens ? If so , do they have genitals?

297

@WheelTod: Did you know if you weigh yourself, then take a dump, then weigh the dump & weigh yourself again, you'll be banned from Walgreens for life?

50
↑