@demented_Ash: Twinkle twinkle little star,
I want to hit you with a car,
Throw you off a street so high,
Hope you break your neck and die.
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@NamestartswithZ: *my tweet gets 1,000 likes* My wit is classic, timeless, adored by all *my tweet gets 4 likes* My wit is clever, genius, understood by few
@JediGigi: To avoid another embarrassing moment like when I was stood up on prom night, I always keep at least 1 penguin around.
@duplicitron: Someone left a really nice couch out on the street so I went home and got a lamp and TV and this is where I live now.
@samalmightysam: -Honey, what made you fall in love with me? -Your mother. -But my mother lives 5000 miles away. -That's why...
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