@WilliamAder: Twitter announced today that they've lost 134 million dollars this year. I don't know if they want us to look for it or what the deal is.
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@huntigula: GUY: are u in the 1% ME: more like the 2% GUY: well that's still great ME: [wondering why this guy's so in to milk] it's pretty cool I guess
@aveuaskew: Tell me I'm beautiful "You're beautiful" Tell me I'm a genius "You're a genius" Tell m- "Just give me the toilet paper, please"
@NikiWithIssues: There's a butterfly in my office and a nerf gun in my purse. Susan, clear my schedule.
@juliussharpe: I have the Anne Hathaway "It came true!" reaction whenever the guy at Subway hands me my sandwich.