@Thedudish: Is it true animals can sense danger? The cat's been wearing a helmet all week, and it makes me nervous.

@pregnant_cat: *goes to grocery store *puts "gently used" sticker on all their cucumbers

@Cpin42: In the beginning, people laughed at my penguin army. No one’s laughing now. I’m receiving treatment and everyone’s been really supportive.

@sixfootcandy: Pizza shop said they loved unusual requests so I asked if they could find my dad.

@bacon_gillepic: All women are technically bodybuilders if they get pregnant