@archerenemy: Twitter...because if it can't be described in 140 characters or less, did it really ever happen?
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@jdforshort: I asked the manager if I could sample the sausage and that's when I was asked to leave Costco. THE SAUSAGE Not YOUR sausage
@Moochava: Yearly reminder: unless you're over 60, you weren't promised flying cars. You were promised an oppressive cyberpunk dystopia. Here you go.
@heymermaid: Stop saying I'm my own worst enemy. My worst enemy is Johan, from the stables; I want him dismissed, but he's curried such favor with father
@FrenulumBreve: Crocodile: "See ya later alligator." Alligator: "yeah, I don't do that anymore Jeff."