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@VictorscarletJ: Twitter birth control: airfare
@ericsshadow: COP: don't worry sir, we'll find your kids as soon as we can.
ME: no hurry.
@andylassner: So proud watching my son fight invisible monsters in the outfield while the ball rolls right past him.
@shariv67: No one is reading any of these tweets. Feel free to unburden yourself. I murdered a drifter once. Wow. That feels great. Now you.
@swiftenhaal: Just ordered Dominos while at Dominos because I need a ride home.
@mattZillaaaa: Women have 9 months to prepare for birth. Paper cuts JUST HAPPEN