@VictorscarletJ: Twitter birth control: airfare
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@TheCatWhisprer: My toddler is pretty particular about the brand of chicken nuggets I offer her for somebody who just ate a crayon.
@TheSharona06: Sometimes I put my cat in the sunroom hoping the coyote who lives out back will charge at it and bounce off the glass.
@CooIStepDad: [Riot] "WHAT DO WE WANT" *far in the back* PIZZA ROLLS "No Jim we want freedom" "WHAT DO WE WANT" PIZZA ROLLS "JIM" But I'm hungry :(