@Cali_Kid_Mike: Twitter Clique: (n) a small exclusive group of friends who promise to tell each other they are funny.
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@Twits_Giggles: It's amazing how patiently people will wait in line behind you when you're buying tampons.
@KentWGraham: Given the American diet, don’t you think we’d have greater success locating missing children if we put their faces on liters of soda?
@bobvulfov: GOLFER: what r u thinkin ME (caddying): honestly sometimes i wake up & am mad that im not dead GOLFER: jesus. i meant what club should i use