@Cali_Kid_Mike: Twitter Clique: (n) a small exclusive group of friends who promise to tell each other they are funny.
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@iamspacegirl: [after blowing out all the candles on my cake] him: Did you wish for world peace again? me: haha of course. *A WILD SQUIRTLE APPEARS*
@Elizasoul80: [trial] Judge: how do you plead? "not guilty" J: but you've admitted to dropping an anvil on him. "he asked me to make him a pancake"
@ZombieProblms: Do zombies go to heaven when they die? I hope so. There's lots of nice people up there to eat.