@BabetteJones: Twitter is a good place to meet men. The odds are good but the goods are odd.
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@melliemeow: I have on my new shoes today. They are so cute, and comfortable, as long as I don't stand in them or walk in them.
@KalvinMacleod: DOG BOSS: ur fired ME: wait, is there any way you'll reconsider? DOG BOSS: no ME: u want to go for a ride in the car DOG BOSS: *tilts head*
@checkyourfox: I'm sorry I got you birth control for Christmas and said it was my gift to the world.
@SimonMaloy: TWITTER: something just isn't clicking here HORDE OF RACIST EGGS: [cacophony of immoral filth] TWITTER: eliminate the looping video service