@Marlebean: {Company meeting}
Pres: Our biggest fears have come true...
*I run to check on the donuts
*Stroll back in, spitting crumbs "what's wrong?"
@MEQ_777: Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it?
Asking for a friend
@lasergirl70: Forget the fad diets, I'm gonna lose weight the old fashioned way - by not having enough money for food.
@LindaInDisguise: If my partner didn't want me to wear yoga pants because they make me too attractive to other men, I'd respect his wishes and take them off.
@girlontapas: Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub.
There's liquor and you can't hear them.
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