@imence2: Twitter is like a very demented game of The Sims. Everyday I check to see how my people are doing and make sure they're still alive.
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@cryptomanran: A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday. Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?
@SondraDeeMe: I fake the art of fainting so well my favorite restaurant now refers to me as "Low Blood Sugar Girl" while rushing my limp body to a table.
@internetluke: [i fall down the stairs & break my back] Me: Siri, call me 911 Siri: okay.. I will call you 911 from now on Me: haha nice Siri: thanks 911