@DanDoofus: Twitter is over Capacity! Well, so's my liver but you don't see me slowing down because of it.
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@FreudsTwin: Mad scientist- Checks for Labs Bartender- Checks for Tabs Boxer- Checks for Jabs Uber- Checks for Cabs Your back - Checks for Stabs
@rolldiggity: 1. Put on clown shoes. 2. Sit in toilet stall with feet pulled up. 3. Wait for someone to enter other stall. 4. Slowly lower feet to floor
@moose_chocolate: Fox has cancelled American Idol. From Now on, if I want to listen to bad music, I'll have to listen to Pitbull just like everyone else.
@Cheeseboy22: New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.