@DanDoofus: Twitter is over Capacity! Well, so's my liver but you don't see me slowing down because of it.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Is my iPhone named Freedom? Yes Do I never pick up phone calls on it? Also yes, because as an American, I let freedom ring
@mattsurely: [couch shopping] Wife: Eh, you married to it? *a bead of sweat trickles down my brow as I hope she doesn't notices the couch's wedding ring*
@AsgardianRose: Autocorrect changed "panic attack" to "pancake attack" and now I'm hysterical AND hungry.