@DanDoofus: Twitter is over Capacity! Well, so's my liver but you don't see me slowing down because of it.
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@thatUPSdude: Went to Hollister but nothing fit, plus got lost in there for a week. Came out 30lbs lighter, so went back in to buy a shirt. Well played.
@ArfMeasures: GF: What's my biggest flaw? ME: You haven't got any, you're perfect, I love you GF: No come on, I mean pacifically ME: We should split up
@lisaOoOo: A 5 day juice diet. They said I would "feel it" working in just 5 days. They were right, I've never felt more hungry in all my life.
@BlindChow: GOD: did u eat from the tree of knowledge? ADAM: no…it was my girlfriend GOD: who? ADAM: u don't know her she goes to a different school