@hmmwalsh: Twitter is perfect for men, because with men brevity is key. Beyond 140 characters they know they're going to say something wrong.
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@rachelle_mandik: most german shepherds don't know much german at all and are relieved when you try english
@TheAlexNevil: It's amazing how a simple act of kindness can change my bad mood into a suspicious bad mood.
@Cyd10e: Ladies, if Men had PMS they'd get into fist fights, defraud partners, start wars, abuse women, stop paying child support..HEY-wait a minute!
@fro_vo: [cemetery] *priest says a final prayer* *harambe's casket is lowered into the ground* *toddler falls in*