@hmmwalsh: Twitter is perfect for men, because with men brevity is key. Beyond 140 characters they know they're going to say something wrong.
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@TheIronSherk: Learned today that it's about 12 min after realizing there's no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are
@respected_loner: i hate when the news guys say "our nation's capital". stop jerking us around and tell us what city it is
@TitansHomer: MTV stopped having their "Unplugged" specials because the shitty artists we have now can't play any instruments.
@motrboatr: Sure I'll send you a shirtless selfie. Just let me work out for 6 months real quick.