@mrtruthandsoul: Twitter is the government's elaborate plan to keep us all off the streets
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@robdelaney: My wife went on a lot of roller coasters when she was pregnant with our daughter Katelyn, and you can tell :(
@pbear79: If you have a gluten allergy I feel bad for you son. I got 99 pizzas and you can't eat one.
@ch000ch: [drops a pinch of fish food into fish tank] ME: here ya go little buddies FISH: oh wow pukey shit flakes again, thanks man