@mrtruthandsoul: Twitter is the government's elaborate plan to keep us all off the streets
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@KalvinMacleod: HR: How do you think we can better handle this in the future? ME [glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut]: idk, maybe don’t hire Cheryl
@BruceForce: t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t ~ just dotting some i's and crossing some t's.
@JohnLyonTweets: [flirting at Taco Bell] Trouble opening that sauce packet? Let me help. [seconds later] Let me help you get that sauce out of your hair.